Wednesday’s Piece

“You are charged” said the judge, “with beating up this government inspector.  What have you to say?”

“Nothing,” replied the grocer, “I am guilty. I lost my head. All morning I held my temper while government agents inspected my scales, tested my butter, smelled my meat, graded my kerosene. In addition, your honour, I had just answered three federal questionnaires. The this bird came along and wanted to take moving pictures of my cheese and I pasted him in the eye.”

John Lentell

3rd December, 1969

Monday’s Piece

“The public buys its opinions as it buys its meat, or takes in its milk, on the principle that it is cheaper to do this than to keep a cow. So it is, but the milk is more likely to be watered.”

(Samuel Butler, 1835 – 1902)

John Lentell

1st December, 1969

Saturday’s Piece

“It seems in some cases kind nature hath planned,

That names with their calling agree,

For Twining the Teaman that lives in the Strand

Would be ‘Wining’ deprived of his T”.

(Theodore Hook, 1788 – 1841)

John Lentell

29th November 1969

(Sorry for missed “pieces”, have been in Vietnam with my hot new girlfriend! – Gour) 

Friday’s Piece

“….a Puritan tendency is by no means an essential part of a religious disposition. The Puritan’s character is joyless and morose; he is most happy, or, to speak less paradoxically, most at peace with himself when sad. It is a mental condition correlated with the well-known Puritan features, black straight hair, hollowed cheeks, and sallow complexion.”

(From Hereditary Genius published in 1869 by by Sir Francis Galton, 1822 – 1911)

John Lentell

28th November, 1969