Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
(Mark Twain, 1835 – 1910)
John Lentell
14th March, 1971
Month: May 2016
Sunday’s Piece
“Dear John Lentell –
We are holding for ransom one irreplaceable imported (smuggled?) article. Do not contact either the C.I.D. or the local Fuzz. Your article will be returned to you unbroken if you comply with this stipulation. Place the following piece in the Rhodesia Herald –
‘For the cup of sun I stole
From the shelf beside the roll
I apologise most abjectly.’
All transactions will be carried out over a bottle of Manica. This is your one and only ultimatum – comply with it or your article will be brushed out. Peace.”
(Anonymous letter received – unstamped – 5c postage dud)
John Lentell
13th March, 1971
Saturday’s Piece
I’m sending mine to Filippa’s.
John Lentell
12th March, 1971
Friday’s Piece
“NEW laws could force you to kennel your bitch…”
(Advertisement in yesterday’s Personal Column)
John Lentell
11th March, 1971
Thursday’s Piece
“I wish you could make the kind of bread my mother used to make.”
“Well, dear, I wish you could make the kind of dough my father used to make.”
John Lentell
10th March, 1971
Wednesday’s Piece
I never could understand how a person speaking only English thought it funny to hear broken english spoken by a foreigner who could speak 10 other languages too.
(Gracie Allen, 1895 – 1964)
John Lentell
9th March, 1971
Tuesday’s Piece
There is not a more mean, stupid, dastardly, pitiless, selfish, spiteful, envious, ungrateful animal than the public.
(William Hazlitt, 1788 – 1830, The First Modern Man)
John Lentell
8th March, 1971
Sunday’s Piece
Patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone.
(Edith Cavell, 1865 – 1915, to Rev. Gahan on night before her execution in 1915)
John Lentell
7th March, 1971
Saturday’s Piece
She loved him, but probably no woman can live with a man for many years without having an indulgent contempt for him, and wondering how he is considered a good man of business.
(J. M. barrie, 1860 – 1937)
John Lentell
6th March, 1971
Saturday’s Piece (2)
A shop for Salisbury called ‘Copy Cat’.
That’s a good idea!
John Lentell
4th March, 1971
Saturday’s Piece (3)
REPS is one of the reasons why I stay in Rhodesia!
John Lentell
5th March, 1971
Friday’s Piece
He who proves things by experience increases his knowledge; he who believes blindly increases his errors.
(Chinese proverb)
John Lentell
3rd March, 1971
Thursday’s Piece
The formula of my happiness:
A yes, A no, a straight line, a goal.
(Friedrich Nietzsche, 1844 – 1900)
John Lentell
2nd March, 1971
Wednesday’s Piece
Women sometimes forgive a man who forces the opportunity but never a man who misses one.
(Talleyrand, 1754 – 1838)
John Lentell
1st March, 1971
Monday’s Piece
The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognise that we ought to control our thoughts.
(Charles Darwin, 1809 – 1882)
John Lentell
28th February, 1971
Sunday’s Piece
An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.
(Henry Ford, 1863 – 1947)
John Lentell
27th February, 1971
Saturday’s Piece
There is only one real tragedy in a woman’s life. The fact that the past is always her lover and her future invariably her husband.
(Oscar Wilde, 1854 – 1900)
John Lentell
26th February, 1971
Thursday’s Piece
Amoebas at the start
Were not complex
They tore themselves apart
And started sex.
(Arthur Guiterman, 1871 – 1943)
John Lentell
25th February, 1971
Wednesday’s Piece
There’s no moss on the moon boys,
It’s all dry up there.
There’s no moss on the moon boys,
So why go up there?
John Lentell
24th February, 1971
Tuesday’s Piece
Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.
(Mark Twain, 1835 – 1910)
John Lentell
23rd February, 1971
Lentell Soup 