Thursday’s Piece

“A young bride walked into a chemist and timidly asked if the baby tonic they advertised really made babies bigger and stronger. Assured that it did and that they had never had a complaint she bought a bottle. Minutes later she returned, took the chemist into a corner and whispered into his ear, ‘I forgot to ask – who takes it, me or my husband?’.”

John Lentell

27th June, 1970

Tuesday’s Piece

How magnanimous and what a fine beginning it would be to his reign if Ted Heath sent george Brown to the House of Lords – assuming of course that  he wants to go.

John Lentell

24th June, 1970

Sunday’s Piece

“My Analyze over the ocean

My Analyze over the sea

Oh, who will go over the ocean

And bring back my Anatomy.”

(Written by a student when asked to compose something to incude the words “analyze” and “anatomy”!)

John Lentell

23rd June, 1970

Friday’s Piece

“Can you still feel the warmth of fish and chips through a newspaper? That is something only the English experience. It is the most comforting sensation in the whole world…”

(From ‘Letter for Tomorrow‘ by Rosemary Ross Skinner)

John Lentell

21st June, 1970

Thursday’s Piece

“An English lady, self-appointed supervisor of village morals, accused a workman of having reverted to drink because ‘with her own eyes’ she had seen his wheelbarrow standing outside a public house.

The accused man said little in his defence, but the same evening he placed his wheelbarrow outside her door and left it there all night.”

John Lentell

20th June, 1970

Tuesday’s Piece

“I am particularly incensed when non-Rhodesians involve themselves in politics….This (exhibit) advertisement….is the work of a non-citizen. It might be his good intention to become a citizen. But in the meantime I would say that he is here on probation and should keep his nose out of active politics. He should certainly not seek to influence those of us who are voters in a manner which implies that we are lot of nit-wits. In many countries such a person would find his stay short-lived. Indeed, some have been deported from Rhodesia seemingly for less….”

(Extract from speech by Independent candidate for Salisbury City at Liberty Cinema – April 2nd, 1970)

John Lentell

19th June, 1970