Home is the place where, when you go there,
They have to take you in.
(Robert Frost, 1874 – 1963)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
3rd June, 1971
(My childhood home, Harare)
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Wednesday’s Piece
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
(Resumé – Poem by Dorothy Parker, 1893 – 1967)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
2nd June, 1971
Monday’s Piece
Figures won’t lie, but liars will figure.
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
1st June, 1971
(Yours truly bowling..)
Saturday’s Piece
As a beauty I’m not a great star,
There are others more handsome by far;
But my face I don’t mind it
Because I’m behind it –
‘Tis the folks out in front that I jar.
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
31st May, 1971
Thursday’s Piece
And when the religious sects ran mad,
He held, in spite of all his learning,
That if a man’s belief is bad,
It will not be improved by burning.
(W. M. Praed – ‘The Vicar’)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
30th May, 1971
Tuesday’s Piece
Morality is a private and costly luxury.
(Henry Adams, 1838 – 1918)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
29th May, 1971
Monday’s Piece
The rain it raineth on the just
And also on the unjust fella;
But chiefly on the just, because
The unjust steals the just’s umbrella.
Sir George Owen
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
28th May, 1971
Sunday’s Piece
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.
(George Bernard Shaw)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
27th May, 1971
Friday’s Piece
I did not hear the words you said.
Instead, I heard the love.
(Joan Walsh Anglund, 1926 – )
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
26th May, 1971
Thursday’s Piece
Minis, hot-pants and topless dresses – ‘overexposed’.
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
25th May, 1971
Wednesday’s Piece
I’m glad to find you as you are,”, said the old friend. “Your wealth hasn’t changed you.”
“Well,” replied the candid millionaire, “it has changed me in one way. I’m now eccentric where I used to be impolite, and delightfully witty where I used to be rude.”
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
24th May, 1971
Monday’s Piece
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure – try to please everybody.
(Herbert Bayard Swope, 1882 – 1958)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
23rd May, 1971
Sunday’s Piece
A girl being interviewed for a job was asked if she had any particular talents and replied that she had won several prizes in crossword puzzles and slogan contests. “That sounds good”, the manager told her, “but we want somebody who will be smart during office hours.”
“Ah,” she explained brightly, “this was during office hours.”
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
22nd May, 1971
Sunday’s Piece
Paint me as I am. If you leave out the scars and wrinkles, I will not pay you a shilling.
(Oliver Cromwell, remark to the painter Peter Lely)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
21st may, 1971
Friday’s Piece
He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
(Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
Rhodesia Herald
20th May, 1971
Tuesday’s Piece
Across the fields of yesterday
He sometimes comes to me,
A little lad just back from play –
The lad I used to be.
Thomas S Jones, Jr.
John Lentell (Happy Birthday, Dickon)
Rhodesia Herald
19th May, 1971
(Photo: Dickon Lentell)
Monday’s Piece
Human beings, by and large, are not very inventive and are therefore highly imitative. Their compulsion to imitate is the basis of Fashion and in affluent societies, Fashion becomes almost totally preoccupied with the essentially useless.
(Wolf Mankowitz, 1924 – 1998)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
18th May, 1971
Sunday’s Piece
There was a young fellow of Clyde
Who went to a funeral and cried;
When they asked who was dead,
He stammered and said,
“I don’t know – I just came for the ride.”
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
17th May, 1971
Saturday’s Piece
How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!
(Emily Dickinson, 1830 – 1886)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
16th May, 1971
Friday’s Piece
Nobody ever fergits where he buried a hatchet.
(Kin Hubbard, 1868 – 1930)
John Lentell
Rhodesia Herald
15th May, 1971
