There are eight million antique dealers in this naked city. This is (has been?) one of them!
John Lentell
10th February, 1970
John Lentell
Tuesday’s Piece
“All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder.”
John Lentell
1st February, 1970
Tuesday’s Piece
I wonder if the South African ‘Verkramptes‘ have Rhodesian associates?
John Lentell
16th January, 1970
Friday’s Piece
Resolution can be as irrational as appetite.
John Lentell
20th December, 1969
Saturday’s Piece
“If you look like your passport photograph – you need the trip!”
John Lentell
13th December, 1969
Monday’s Piece
“Television: Vidiot’s delight.”
John Lentell
8th December, 1969
Friday’s Piece
There is absolutely no truth in the rumour going around Salisbury that ‘you know who’ is going to be taken over by ‘you know who’!
John Lentell
14th November, 1969
Monday’s Piece
“A small time columnist gate-crashed a grand party given by one of America’s leading actresses. On leaving he gave her a damp hand and said, ‘Thanks for the swell party.’
‘That’s perfectly all right,’ said the actress, ‘Do remind me to invite you next time.'”
John Lentell
13th October, 1969
Sunday’s Piece
“Antique – something no one would be seen with if there were more of them.”
John Lentell
11th October, 1969
Saturday’s Piece
Nobody knows ‘the other half’ like the other half!
John Lentell
3rd october, 1969
Friday’s Piece
“Look to the left and look to the right
And you’ll never, never get run over.”
(Part of a song we used to sing in the Shirley Temple Club on Saturday morning at the Odeon Cinema in Taunton, Somerset – circa 1935!)
John Lentell
2nd October, 1969
Thursday’s Piece
My car is about to clock up 200,000 miles. What a friend!
John Lentell
1st October, 1969
Saturday’s Piece
Into young minds we must instill
Good things and those of worth
That they may build as is the will
Of He that made this earth.
John Lentell (part of some verse written with a comrade in an army billet in 1945)
26th September, 1969
Friday’s Piece
Corpulent men and their corpulent cars
Bulging bellies and boots
And a mutual consumption of spirit
Hastening the inevitable end
John Lentell
25th September, 1969
Thursday’s Piece
When will we Rhodesians realise the benefits of bidets in our bathrooms? We’re primitive!
24th September, 1969
Wednesday’s Piece
From the depth of my soul I love the sea,
From the depth of the sea comes my soul.
John Lentell
23rd September, 1969
Tuesday’s Piece
“A grey-haired old woman was waiting for a bus. She was very large and crippled with rheumatism. Her arms were loaded with packages. As the bus stopped, a man waiting behind offered a helping hand. The old woman smiled and shook her head. ‘I’d best manage alone,’ she said. ‘If I get help today – I’ll want it tomorrow.'”
John Lentell
22nd Spetember, 1969
Friday’s Piece
“May I ask you the secret of success?” an ambitious young man said to a great merchant.
“There is no easy secret,” replied the merchant. “You must jump at your opportunity.”
“But how can I tell when my opportunity comes?”
“You can’t,” snapped the merchant. “You have to keep jumping.”
John Lentell
18th September, 1969
Wednesday’s Piece
“Special attention given to educational and emotional difficulties.
Full time psychologist. Registered nurses. Pool. Fireproof building.
Paul L. White, M.D., F.A.P.A., Medical Dir.
Bert V. Brown, Dir.”
(From an Advertisement for an American School)
John Lentell
16th September, 1969
Saturday’s Piece
“Miss Barrymore was told that the actress had acquired a new husband, and had made a full confession of her past life to him. ‘What honesty! What courage!’ marvelled the critic. ‘What a memory!’ added Miss Barrymore.”
John Lentell
12th September, 1969
Lentell Soup 